As told in the post few weeks back, marriage has been a very difficult task for me. Especially choosing the right one as I am never addicted to girls. I did never feel understand women is difficult just like the regular and popular pranks or may be they are not. I am not at all sure on that front. But somehow one situation was really disturbing to me as I couldn't perceive the situation correctly and its definitely the situation I need to capture in words for my long future and probably for my loved once to refer.
The first and the only meeting
I still do remember the day when my 1st patent was accepted which started by day with great joy. Its the 1st anniversary for Telangana formation day though I don't care about it. I did meet her to have a conversation alone. Generally girls are shy especially when meeting for the first time. At-least I am. I did feel she is shy, but I remember she broke the deadlock of how to start with the question "So what do you want to know about me?". The conversation started conveniently. Few of the surprising words she said are "I grew up completely in Hyd and I don't have any shyness". Even I was bought up completely in Hyd, but definitely I am not as bold as her :D. That made me a lot free to ask what I wanted. But still she never makes an eye contact. Her eyes are looking down. May be she is addicted to phone? But not, the phone was placed on the table. She isn't interested to take the juice which is offered to her of-course forcefully. I did ask a lot of queries and in return she did very few. One answer I still remember is about travel where she said she wanted to travel, but she couldn't due to restrictions from her mother. She did all the booking to Himalayas but still she couldn't for the same reason. Being an elite traveler, I do pity her as I know how much fun traveling is and also by knowing what it turns you into. But at the same time I do respect the parents decision as its only because of pure love and caring that they do now what their kids go far. Its the same story with my mother and its a fact that I will not listen :P.And again I am happy to have forced my aunt to send my cousin for her Batch trip to Araku. I do understand but still feel bad if someone restricts these kind of things just because of the gender. Life is short and I believe you need to enjoy every moment till you live and opportunities like these come rarely. I am very lucky to have some great friends who are also great companions in my journey.
Quickly, few more words from her "I am never much interested in studies. I did not learn cooking as my mother cooks always. At a minimum, I do my work of maintaining my room. I does help pay bills. I have been driving car for over 6 years and I am allowed to travel around the city and few times when I am bored, I go to the airport". Another interesting thing which she had mentioned about is some 3 month period (damn forgot the exact period) where she cousin and herself use to travel round the city every day. Go for movies, shopping, etc. And yes, she is interested in shopping. She also revealed she is interested in eating outside food especially street food. I wanted to ask if she like pani-poori which is one of my favorite, but somehow I didn't. She does have a lot of friends, most of whom are the children of her mother's kitty party friends. One question which very huge surprise for me is when she asked me if this is the 1st time I am seeing a girl. I was actually speechless for this question for a moment and then I revealed its not the first and when I was asked upon the reasons for coming till this state, I said the main reason was horoscope mismatch tough its not completely true. She then said it was the first for her. Out of curiosity I wanted to ask her what her opinion is on this shitty horoscope, but somehow I couldn't. When asked about her partner preferences, she said height is the factor as she was almost my height and then India or US both are fine. I got an impression, she does prefer UE more
End of the meeting
Finally at the end of the meeting, her nephew was bought in whose birthday coincides with mine and she is about to celebrate her 1st. Oh, I gotta say she was very cute and with the love of kids I really wanted to take her into my arms, but again I felt a bit shy. I can never forget her at-least for the coincidence. I wanted to wish her for "our" birthday just like I wish friends wife who now only shares the same day but the same year as well. Hmm, I really love coincidences.
Finally her brother and sister-in-law have also appeared at the place as they were searching for a function hall for the 1st bday party. Once everything was done, they offered me a ride back home but I politely rejected. Thereafter I took some time to access the similarities and differences and somehow I felt she would not be a good match as I see a lot of differences and also my internal perception was also indicating a bit so. Then of-course I have to narrate this to my Mother after which there is this obvious query for which there is that obvious answer of mine, "Let them ask something and then I will think". This day is very much weird to me for reasons it start with great joy with the patent acceptance and then I met and had a conversation which I never had and might never a similar one again and also I never expected that this day would cause me a lot of inconvenience in the future resulting in this blog.
The next couple of days
Time goes by and I was not much worried about this and then the most surprising thing I never ever expected. Her Father called me up and said she wanted to talk to me and that she will call me up and also gave me her number. Hmm, probably this is the most exciting moment and probably the moment which is the pillars of inconvenience. My wish of selecting the girl is not just by her photo and profile, but by talking to the girl a few times and deciding with a mutual understanding. Beauty should be more in the heart than the appearance and also we should at-least match 50% in our interests is what I prefer. And I should mention the quarrel I had with my mother on this when she argued "what will you talk to a girl and how can you even talk to a girl several times?". Times have changed Mom. I did think she had the similar taste as me in selecting the better half.
I did wait couple of days for the call and finally decided to make a call myself with some unknown fear. Unexpectedly she did not pick up the call and later called back saying she was in office and would call back later. I was very very curious on what she wanted to talk to me. It was some excitement especially because I was never used to flirting kind of things, so never aware of the attitude of girls. I thought she might directly say she is not interested in me and that her parents are forcing her. But that doesn't disappoint me. I felt it would be an exciting thing if a person directly says so boldly. I also thought her parents were purposefully forcing her to call me. But I never received a call but unexpectedly I received a message on the birthday wishing me. Hmm, its the first time a girl whom I only met once and who is still a stranger, wished me. I asked her to convey my wishes to her nephew. I felt she didn't call me as she was busy with the arrangements for her nephew. But still I didn't receive any call in the following days and now the ultimate confusion began.
Emotions are more than words
Generally I am a good mind reader of a person, but this looks completely different. I could resist and so I have texted her on what she wanted to talk to me about for which her answer was something like "Nothing just casual stuff". I couldn't get what was in her mind. I tried continuing the conversation for a couple of days. There is always a response, but all of them were one liners and it was quite convenient so. I feared I would piss her off and thus I even queries her saying "Hope I am not disturbing you" for which she said "Not at all". Then I said "In that case I will keep disturbing you" for which she just laughed (smiley). I never told her if at all I am causing inconvenience please tell me so. One day when there was no response from her for a day, I texted "Looks like I pissed you off" for which she later replied "Sorry, my cousin was going to the US and thus she was busy". Hmm, my confusion is spiking up. She keeps talking so politely, answers all the questions, yet makes me inconvenient. I had 2 things to ask her:
1. About what she wants to talk to me as her Father mentioned and why she didn't make a call.
2. I wanted to ask her if she knew my very old friend from GRIET who probably I think is her senior.
I just couldn't ask her directly without being convenient as I don't want her to reveal anything outside at-least for my 2nd question. Finally I decided this hide and seek texting is going too far and its not looking good and asked her for some 15 mins of dedicated time. Before that made a stupid statement saying "Don't feel shy" for which her reply was "I am not shy". Did her piss her of at this moment? Damn its only a text and I couldn't understand the expressions at the other end. Was she casual, anger, sarcastic ... ? I really prefer talking to a person directly than texting. Talking will reveal emotions which are more than words. Next day though a bit resisted and procrastinated, I decided to make a call directly after choosing a silent place. When she lift the call and started speaking (with a normal/smiling emotion), I felt the voice is somewhat different to what I heard in our only meeting. In addition to that there was a lot of background noise. Somehow I wasn't able to proceed talking to her and she said she would call me later which never happened. I called her again the next day but she was in shopping and I had to abort it. I trying few more times in the next days, but there was no response. Then I decided not to text/call for couple of days and felt things would settle out fine.
Trip to the Kangaroos
In the next few days, things have completely changed. The queries have changed and the question now is did I do something wrong? did I piss her off by some means? Things which should have ended so smoothly have become very complex. I always had very much respect towards girls and did I cause any disrespect? It started troubling me a lot and it kept increasing as days passed by. Finally my trip for the year "Australia" is just a few days to go and I wanted to resolve this before the trip so that I can enjoy the trip to the fullest. I started texting her again with the casual messages like "Hi", but no reply ... Suddenly there was only one message "Hi" and then everything stopped. Its still a curious question to me on why she pinged me with just a "Hi" in between all of this. Exactly on the day of traveling to Australia, I did make a heavy texting where I received the response but in a very negative way. She finally said "I am not interested in you" and blocked me. Opps ... does she feel that I am flirting with her? Of-course I was never interested with her as well and would never have said an "Yes" even if she did. Finally this spoiled my Australia trip to something and there after I tried forgetting the whole thing but in vain.
Myself and my interpretations.
In my life I never wanted to hurt/cause inconvenience to someone and looks to have caused one here and I exactly don't know at what point I caused it. Out of fear I did already play safe. That person whom I said "will disturb you later" and got a reply saying "its ok", that person whom I asked "am I bothering you too much" for which the reply was "not at all", that person whom I said "looks like I pissed you off" after I didn't receive a reply for the previous message and got a reply saying "SORRY, I was busy", that person who laughed when I said "I will disturb you a lot". Its unusual for such a person to behave so abnormally. Everything looked silly without a reason. This is a good example for myself on how not to handle things. I shouldn't make things so complex in the future and probably be more straight forward especially with women. Hmm its a good case study indeed.
What is the inconvenience now?
It went to an extent that I am afraid of each and every action. I feel like I lost my freedom and I hate it to be so. Never in the future do I want to go back in time feel how cool it would be if everything was normal. Somehow I wanted to find out a way to resolve this.
What might have gone wrong?
Many interpretations, but nothing beyond the convenient acceptable factor. Hope I get my answer soon to retain peace of mind.
If you read the whole post above this, you should have understood my state of mind. If not for a quick summary: I am not interested in you as well and would never had said an "yes". What I initially wanted to ask you are:
1. About what you wants to talk to me as your Father mentioned and why she didn't make a call.
2. I wanted to ask her if she knew my very old friend from GRIET who probably I think is your senior.
Apart from this probably wanted to ask few curious queries like the work in Bank of America, etc. And to let you more info, I am a curious person who generally want to know lot of things both important and unimportant. Like I knew what the job of most of my friends, colleagues is, when traveling I ask the stores, restaurants, etc., about their business, etc. And also i have very less experience talking to girls whom I knew very much and I don't try to impress anyone. Of-course I don't want to impress anyone. For the same reason I told you I don't know how to talk to girls (if at all it requires some specific skill) and also I asked you if I was troubling you for the same reason for which you denied it.
I don't think a person of your nature would behave this way without any reason. And again someone blocking me if one of the worst things I can think of and that too without any reason is more painful. For all these months I tried to get away but myself being branded a villain is always coming into my mind without knowing the exact reasons.
I never have enemies and I don't even want to have people whom I would be inconvenient with. The latter part did happen and I had to resolve this to make things clean and straight. In the process I want you to help me out in why this scenario occurred. I spoke my heart out and wanted the same from you. I hope you would unblock me from Watsapp and reply in it. Again I wanted to know the emotions because emotions are more than words. This is the only reason I tried to call. I do have lot of ambitions in life and somehow things like these are distracting me and slowing me down, so I want to resolve this for ever with a peace treaty between both parties. This is the best way I could find and want to say I have no other intentions. When we run into each other in the future, lets just greet with a half smile and not turn off faces with inconvenience. I never want to think how good it would have been if everything would have been normal.
Sorry but this is the best way I thought of resolving the problem. I have lot more to say, but let me end this. Finally all this is a request and not a demand and the request is to help this sick man out of the misery.
మన భాశ లో చెపాలంటె, ఇది అబ్యర్ధన, ఆజ్ఞాపన కాదు
***The text below "Finally the request to the concerned" will be deleted for ever in couple of days.***
The first and the only meeting
I still do remember the day when my 1st patent was accepted which started by day with great joy. Its the 1st anniversary for Telangana formation day though I don't care about it. I did meet her to have a conversation alone. Generally girls are shy especially when meeting for the first time. At-least I am. I did feel she is shy, but I remember she broke the deadlock of how to start with the question "So what do you want to know about me?". The conversation started conveniently. Few of the surprising words she said are "I grew up completely in Hyd and I don't have any shyness". Even I was bought up completely in Hyd, but definitely I am not as bold as her :D. That made me a lot free to ask what I wanted. But still she never makes an eye contact. Her eyes are looking down. May be she is addicted to phone? But not, the phone was placed on the table. She isn't interested to take the juice which is offered to her of-course forcefully. I did ask a lot of queries and in return she did very few. One answer I still remember is about travel where she said she wanted to travel, but she couldn't due to restrictions from her mother. She did all the booking to Himalayas but still she couldn't for the same reason. Being an elite traveler, I do pity her as I know how much fun traveling is and also by knowing what it turns you into. But at the same time I do respect the parents decision as its only because of pure love and caring that they do now what their kids go far. Its the same story with my mother and its a fact that I will not listen :P.And again I am happy to have forced my aunt to send my cousin for her Batch trip to Araku. I do understand but still feel bad if someone restricts these kind of things just because of the gender. Life is short and I believe you need to enjoy every moment till you live and opportunities like these come rarely. I am very lucky to have some great friends who are also great companions in my journey.
Quickly, few more words from her "I am never much interested in studies. I did not learn cooking as my mother cooks always. At a minimum, I do my work of maintaining my room. I does help pay bills. I have been driving car for over 6 years and I am allowed to travel around the city and few times when I am bored, I go to the airport". Another interesting thing which she had mentioned about is some 3 month period (damn forgot the exact period) where she cousin and herself use to travel round the city every day. Go for movies, shopping, etc. And yes, she is interested in shopping. She also revealed she is interested in eating outside food especially street food. I wanted to ask if she like pani-poori which is one of my favorite, but somehow I didn't. She does have a lot of friends, most of whom are the children of her mother's kitty party friends. One question which very huge surprise for me is when she asked me if this is the 1st time I am seeing a girl. I was actually speechless for this question for a moment and then I revealed its not the first and when I was asked upon the reasons for coming till this state, I said the main reason was horoscope mismatch tough its not completely true. She then said it was the first for her. Out of curiosity I wanted to ask her what her opinion is on this shitty horoscope, but somehow I couldn't. When asked about her partner preferences, she said height is the factor as she was almost my height and then India or US both are fine. I got an impression, she does prefer UE more
End of the meeting
Finally at the end of the meeting, her nephew was bought in whose birthday coincides with mine and she is about to celebrate her 1st. Oh, I gotta say she was very cute and with the love of kids I really wanted to take her into my arms, but again I felt a bit shy. I can never forget her at-least for the coincidence. I wanted to wish her for "our" birthday just like I wish friends wife who now only shares the same day but the same year as well. Hmm, I really love coincidences.
Finally her brother and sister-in-law have also appeared at the place as they were searching for a function hall for the 1st bday party. Once everything was done, they offered me a ride back home but I politely rejected. Thereafter I took some time to access the similarities and differences and somehow I felt she would not be a good match as I see a lot of differences and also my internal perception was also indicating a bit so. Then of-course I have to narrate this to my Mother after which there is this obvious query for which there is that obvious answer of mine, "Let them ask something and then I will think". This day is very much weird to me for reasons it start with great joy with the patent acceptance and then I met and had a conversation which I never had and might never a similar one again and also I never expected that this day would cause me a lot of inconvenience in the future resulting in this blog.
The next couple of days
Time goes by and I was not much worried about this and then the most surprising thing I never ever expected. Her Father called me up and said she wanted to talk to me and that she will call me up and also gave me her number. Hmm, probably this is the most exciting moment and probably the moment which is the pillars of inconvenience. My wish of selecting the girl is not just by her photo and profile, but by talking to the girl a few times and deciding with a mutual understanding. Beauty should be more in the heart than the appearance and also we should at-least match 50% in our interests is what I prefer. And I should mention the quarrel I had with my mother on this when she argued "what will you talk to a girl and how can you even talk to a girl several times?". Times have changed Mom. I did think she had the similar taste as me in selecting the better half.
I did wait couple of days for the call and finally decided to make a call myself with some unknown fear. Unexpectedly she did not pick up the call and later called back saying she was in office and would call back later. I was very very curious on what she wanted to talk to me. It was some excitement especially because I was never used to flirting kind of things, so never aware of the attitude of girls. I thought she might directly say she is not interested in me and that her parents are forcing her. But that doesn't disappoint me. I felt it would be an exciting thing if a person directly says so boldly. I also thought her parents were purposefully forcing her to call me. But I never received a call but unexpectedly I received a message on the birthday wishing me. Hmm, its the first time a girl whom I only met once and who is still a stranger, wished me. I asked her to convey my wishes to her nephew. I felt she didn't call me as she was busy with the arrangements for her nephew. But still I didn't receive any call in the following days and now the ultimate confusion began.
Emotions are more than words
Generally I am a good mind reader of a person, but this looks completely different. I could resist and so I have texted her on what she wanted to talk to me about for which her answer was something like "Nothing just casual stuff". I couldn't get what was in her mind. I tried continuing the conversation for a couple of days. There is always a response, but all of them were one liners and it was quite convenient so. I feared I would piss her off and thus I even queries her saying "Hope I am not disturbing you" for which she said "Not at all". Then I said "In that case I will keep disturbing you" for which she just laughed (smiley). I never told her if at all I am causing inconvenience please tell me so. One day when there was no response from her for a day, I texted "Looks like I pissed you off" for which she later replied "Sorry, my cousin was going to the US and thus she was busy". Hmm, my confusion is spiking up. She keeps talking so politely, answers all the questions, yet makes me inconvenient. I had 2 things to ask her:
1. About what she wants to talk to me as her Father mentioned and why she didn't make a call.
2. I wanted to ask her if she knew my very old friend from GRIET who probably I think is her senior.
I just couldn't ask her directly without being convenient as I don't want her to reveal anything outside at-least for my 2nd question. Finally I decided this hide and seek texting is going too far and its not looking good and asked her for some 15 mins of dedicated time. Before that made a stupid statement saying "Don't feel shy" for which her reply was "I am not shy". Did her piss her of at this moment? Damn its only a text and I couldn't understand the expressions at the other end. Was she casual, anger, sarcastic ... ? I really prefer talking to a person directly than texting. Talking will reveal emotions which are more than words. Next day though a bit resisted and procrastinated, I decided to make a call directly after choosing a silent place. When she lift the call and started speaking (with a normal/smiling emotion), I felt the voice is somewhat different to what I heard in our only meeting. In addition to that there was a lot of background noise. Somehow I wasn't able to proceed talking to her and she said she would call me later which never happened. I called her again the next day but she was in shopping and I had to abort it. I trying few more times in the next days, but there was no response. Then I decided not to text/call for couple of days and felt things would settle out fine.
Trip to the Kangaroos
In the next few days, things have completely changed. The queries have changed and the question now is did I do something wrong? did I piss her off by some means? Things which should have ended so smoothly have become very complex. I always had very much respect towards girls and did I cause any disrespect? It started troubling me a lot and it kept increasing as days passed by. Finally my trip for the year "Australia" is just a few days to go and I wanted to resolve this before the trip so that I can enjoy the trip to the fullest. I started texting her again with the casual messages like "Hi", but no reply ... Suddenly there was only one message "Hi" and then everything stopped. Its still a curious question to me on why she pinged me with just a "Hi" in between all of this. Exactly on the day of traveling to Australia, I did make a heavy texting where I received the response but in a very negative way. She finally said "I am not interested in you" and blocked me. Opps ... does she feel that I am flirting with her? Of-course I was never interested with her as well and would never have said an "Yes" even if she did. Finally this spoiled my Australia trip to something and there after I tried forgetting the whole thing but in vain.
Myself and my interpretations.
In my life I never wanted to hurt/cause inconvenience to someone and looks to have caused one here and I exactly don't know at what point I caused it. Out of fear I did already play safe. That person whom I said "will disturb you later" and got a reply saying "its ok", that person whom I asked "am I bothering you too much" for which the reply was "not at all", that person whom I said "looks like I pissed you off" after I didn't receive a reply for the previous message and got a reply saying "SORRY, I was busy", that person who laughed when I said "I will disturb you a lot". Its unusual for such a person to behave so abnormally. Everything looked silly without a reason. This is a good example for myself on how not to handle things. I shouldn't make things so complex in the future and probably be more straight forward especially with women. Hmm its a good case study indeed.
What is the inconvenience now?
It went to an extent that I am afraid of each and every action. I feel like I lost my freedom and I hate it to be so. Never in the future do I want to go back in time feel how cool it would be if everything was normal. Somehow I wanted to find out a way to resolve this.
What might have gone wrong?
Many interpretations, but nothing beyond the convenient acceptable factor. Hope I get my answer soon to retain peace of mind.
Finally, request to the concerned (will be deleted in couple of days)
If you read the whole post above this, you should have understood my state of mind. If not for a quick summary: I am not interested in you as well and would never had said an "yes". What I initially wanted to ask you are:
1. About what you wants to talk to me as your Father mentioned and why she didn't make a call.
2. I wanted to ask her if she knew my very old friend from GRIET who probably I think is your senior.
Apart from this probably wanted to ask few curious queries like the work in Bank of America, etc. And to let you more info, I am a curious person who generally want to know lot of things both important and unimportant. Like I knew what the job of most of my friends, colleagues is, when traveling I ask the stores, restaurants, etc., about their business, etc. And also i have very less experience talking to girls whom I knew very much and I don't try to impress anyone. Of-course I don't want to impress anyone. For the same reason I told you I don't know how to talk to girls (if at all it requires some specific skill) and also I asked you if I was troubling you for the same reason for which you denied it.
I don't think a person of your nature would behave this way without any reason. And again someone blocking me if one of the worst things I can think of and that too without any reason is more painful. For all these months I tried to get away but myself being branded a villain is always coming into my mind without knowing the exact reasons.
I never have enemies and I don't even want to have people whom I would be inconvenient with. The latter part did happen and I had to resolve this to make things clean and straight. In the process I want you to help me out in why this scenario occurred. I spoke my heart out and wanted the same from you. I hope you would unblock me from Watsapp and reply in it. Again I wanted to know the emotions because emotions are more than words. This is the only reason I tried to call. I do have lot of ambitions in life and somehow things like these are distracting me and slowing me down, so I want to resolve this for ever with a peace treaty between both parties. This is the best way I could find and want to say I have no other intentions. When we run into each other in the future, lets just greet with a half smile and not turn off faces with inconvenience. I never want to think how good it would have been if everything would have been normal.
Sorry but this is the best way I thought of resolving the problem. I have lot more to say, but let me end this. Finally all this is a request and not a demand and the request is to help this sick man out of the misery.
మన భాశ లో చెపాలంటె, ఇది అబ్యర్ధన, ఆజ్ఞాపన కాదు
***The text below "Finally the request to the concerned" will be deleted for ever in couple of days.***
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment